Just some thoughts

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Love the ones who don’t just because you can.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised it would be worth it.
I am only as strong
as the chocolate I eat,
the hair spray I use
Be the kind of woman
that when your feet
hit the floor each
morning the devil says
“Oh Crap, She’s up!”

Mayonnaise Jar & Two Beers

When things in your life seem almost
too much to handle, when 24 hours
in a day are not enough,
remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his
philosophy class and had
some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly
picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to
fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was..

The professor then picked up a box of
pebbles and poured them
into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the
open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students
again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box
of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced
two Beers from under the table
and poured the entire contents
into the jar effectively filling
the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed..

‘Now,’ said the professor as the
laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that
this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things—
your family, your children, your health,
your friends and your favorite passions—
and if everything else was lost and
only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things
that matter like your job, your house and your car..

The sand is everything else—the small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’
he continued, ‘there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and
energy on the small stuff you
will never have room for the
things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children.

Spend time with your parents.

Visit with grandparents.

Take time to get medical checkups.

Take your spouse out to dinner.

Play another 18..

There will always be time to
clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first—
the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the Beer represented.

The professor smiled and said,
‘I’m glad you asked.’

The Beer just shows you that no
matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for a couple
of Beers with a friend.

To be 10 again!!

TO be 10 Again…

A man was sitting on the edge

of the bed, observing his wife,

looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off

he asked, what she’d like to have for her

‘I’d like to be ten again’,
she replied, still looking in
the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday,
he arose early, made her a
nice big bowl of Lucky Charms,
and then took her to Thorpe
Park theme park. What a day!

He put her on every ride in the park;
the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
the Screaming Monster Roller
coaster,everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered
out of the theme park.
Her head was reeling
and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a
McDonald’s where
he ordered her a Happy Meal
with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie,
popcorn, a soda pop, and her
favorite candy, M&M’s.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home
with her husband and collapsed
into bed exhausted. He leaned
over his wife with a big smile
and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear,
what was it like being ten again?’

Her eyes slowly opened and her
expression suddenly changed.

‘I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!’

The moral of the story:
Even when a man is listening,
he is gonna get
it wrong.